We are all haunted by something. The haunting surfaces at times and sometimes goes away, so it is not always prevalent. I miss my dad. He lived 91 years and was always so healthy, so willing, so positive and a greater role model, no son could find ANYTIME or ANYWHERE, If I called and asked him if wanted to work with me, or come with me, or help me research something, he replied with, "Yes! Sure." before I even got my words out. He did not expect perfection, but was big into presenting himself with poise, dignity and a lot of humor. He taught me his knuckleball, and even showed me how to be a gentleman and a host -even at a wake! He was the first one to tell me to "Knock it off." if I was obsessing about something.
Life had made my dad quite humble, and he respected the things he had earned through hard work, education, and all of life's the lessons he learned to do, despite coming from poverty, being an ADHD child, surviving the 1929 All Street Financial Crash and WWII. I once asked my dad how he conquered his ADHD, and he replied humbly & softly, "Well, there was a war, you know." I witness my father helping his friends when alcohol or family digressions occurred. I actually got to see him in action as he had mastered the art of distraction and moving on to focus these wounded friends & family members. I saw how he distracted himself when the going got tough, He always used very specific words, commitment and the distraction of hard work.
As I worked in Education, my dad always kept me on top of my up coming retirement. When my divorce took place, he dug in and helped me manage the things I was neglecting. He took it as hard as I did. That was when I realized that being a parent NEVER EVER GOES AWAY. -And t h a t i s o k a y .
Even before he passed, I had Dad in my life for so long, as a father and a mentor, that his words and guidance began to come to me freely. Now that I no longer have him in this physical world, he is most certainly with me, I feel it. Whether you choose to believe in this or not, on occasion I feel he let's me know that he is with me. As I am writing this, the back door closed
making the door knocker bounce. This was the door knocker off of his house, the one in which I grew up. This knocker now resides on my backdoor. I have so much insulation on my back door that it just won't close easily. It closed solidly a minute ago. As the dogs barked, I emerged from my office and realized Dad knew I was thinking of him. I am writing this. I smiled, Just a smile & a hello from my dad. My haunting is a happy one.
We don't know how great our lives are until that time passes. As I write this I wonder.... Will my son & daughter understand that all the time we shared meant so much to me ? What kind of legacy have I left? Will I use my opportunities in the future? I will, but in my own way. just like my dad did with me.
I asked my son if he ever hears my voice when making day to decisions, he replied cautiously with "Not yet, but I most certainly can see that happening."
• I have often confessed to my son, "My dad is my role model."
My son always replies, "Your dad is my role model too." :)
This makes me smile, and makes it all worthwhile.
So give this podcast a listen and please understand that the well of life goes farther than any
podcast could ever imply.
-My old friend. . . Won't you think about me every now and then.?
Cheers. -Paul
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